Inevitably, when I sit down with one of the women of achievement that have blessed my life, I am asked this questions, “What is your why?”
A feeling of tension crosses my abdomen as the flow of rehearsed words spill forth.
“I want to inspire women! I want women to know that they can be great leaders AND great mothers simultaneously. I believe that we are losing great women from leadership positions, because of this societal idea that it is one or the other, when in reality being a mother has made me a better leader and being a leader has made me a better mother. It may not be this beautiful picturesque thing, but what I am creating in both environments, is indeed beautiful in all of its craziness.”
I believe that what I have just spoken is a powerful declaration!
There is silence…..”That is true and wonderful, but I am not convinced that is your why.”
My heart sinks. Not because of the honesty that I have requested from my friend. I have the highest level of respect for her, but because this is not the first time that I have heard these words.
My frustration stems from knowing that she is right. There is something more. This is deeper than what that statement is encompassing. I have a noble goal to wear as a crown if I choose to, but is it REALLY my why?
It should not be this hard of a question. To understand my purpose, my intent with a task, my freaking WHY!
I decided to meditate on it. Anyone that knows me understands that calming my mind is the equivalent of trying to get a two-year-old to sit in time out. I have come to accept that extend periods of time in group meditation is not an appropriate goal for me to set. It would be as unpleasant for all of the meditators (I think that is what you call a group of pros) around me, as it would be for myself.
In this brief shining moment, I was able to calm myself enough to here a clear question slide into my mind……….”who are you trying to please?”
There it was. My why is meant to be my purpose. My purpose is meant to divine. Who am I trying to please. The world? Myself? How many times have I stopped at a certain place in my writing because of fear of what someone might think or who it might offend? Those moments are where my why lives.
I still do not have a better answer for my friend, but at least I understand what I need to do to find it.
Stop residing in man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he? Isaiah 2:22
Denise L Curran
StrongMommy.com 