The world is so peaceful. Everyone is still sleeping and it is just myself and the chattering of the multitude of birds that surround the coffee pot waiting impatiently for it to percolate.
I would love to say that I feel well rested, but my air mattress has opted not to hold in the air that would give me the cushion that I desire and let me tell you, the ground is hard. I also did not enjoy the song of the toads throughout the night. They very loudly speak to each other……..with different inflections and at different variations. I spent a significant amount of time trying to learn their language.
I do not feel like Snow White and I am pretty sure the beastly amphibians know their life is held in the balance of this first cup of coffee as well.
Yet despite all of this, here I sit in my folding chair like a queen on her throne. I am as pleased as I could possibly be with myself for this moment. Soaking it all in and enjoying every ache in my back, knowing that each new experience is me winning at life and creating a different vision of a future for my children.
As a single mom, I remember a time where I did not believe that I could take my kids out alone and do this. I did not know ANYTHING about camping. I had never been tent camping and there was a piece of me that felt like maybe I would not be able to keep my children safe if I tried.
It has been seven years since my separation and subsequent divorce. During that time I could have chosen to stay stagnant in so many mindsets that were limiting my ability to grow and become the woman that God and has always intended. I would love to tell you that it has been an easy journey, or that I have accomplished it all on sheer willpower, because of some internal strength. These would all be lies. Constant struggles with fear, doubts, and insecurities have arisen and been conquered with the help of God and the beautiful people He has allowed to come into my life.
I am not the woman I was seven years ago, because there was not an option to remain her. I had to change and grow………..or die.
So these things that I found fear in, or the thought “I can’t do that” would formulate in my brain, became the things that I knew I needed to lean into the most to find out what it is like to live my best life for both myself and my children. And the benefits have been profound for both of us. I found a strength I did not know resided in me and my children have gotten a StrongMommy.
Here I sit. Kids sleeping in tents that I set up. I am about to drink coffee and eat breakfast off of an open fire. We have caught fish and frogs, swam, kayaked, and most importantly made memories while making s’mores.
Lean into your fears. Do not let them stop you from having these moments or whatever it is they are keeping you from doing. Live your best life. Do not let your fears kill the best parts of you.
StrongMommy.com 